Torture My Night
by Loads of Randomness
Summary: Another Post-Somalia one. Ziva has to stay over at Tony's apartment after a movie night gone on too long. Will Tony get to see the demons that haunt her? Can he help?
1. Stay

Ziva yawned widely as Tony stretched his arms away from her.

"Stay the night," he suggested. "You're enough of a danger on the road without throwing tiredness into the mix.

Ziva half heartedly glared at him before biting her lip, it was true. There was no way she could drive home in her exhausted state but did she really want to be around someone as she slept? Or rather, stayed alertly awake after horrible nightmares. She knew the team was somewhat aware of them, she couldn't exactly hide it from them, but she never wanted them to know the extent of them. She shuddered as the memories crept into her consciousness.

_Tell me all you know of NCIS_

Another yawn overcame her, forcing Ziva to agree unwillingly. Her partner was far too overprotective, it was a battle not worth fighting.

"Okay, Tony. I will stay, thank you."

Tony sent her a dazzling smile. "Great!"

That smile still sent her heart into a flutter. Oh, how she had missed it these past few months.

"Let me get my overnight stuff in my car," she said, slowly stand up.

Tony walked with her to the door, opening it with a dramatic bow. Ziva couldn't help but smile herself and roll her eyes as they made their way down the stairs. She tried to avoid closed spaces when she could. It was an unspoken fear that, thankfully, no one had made her explain.

A gust of air helped her open the door forcefully. It banged against the wall. Tony's apartment manager really needed to get one of those door stopping things. She was sure that bang had woken someone up.

"You are not going out in that," Tony told her firmly as they both stared out into the sudden summer storm. The rain lashed straight down in curtains, dancing off the ground. To Tony it sounded as if there were mini tribal drums pounding along to an invisible war.

"It will take me less than a minute to run and retrieve my items." Ziva pointed out.

"You'll get drenched, so, no," Tony said firmly.

"I need my night clothes." Ziva argued half-heartedly.

She really didn't want to go out in that.

Tony gently guided her away from the door and back upstairs. "You can use one of my old shirts."

Ziva gave up arguing, realising it was a lost cause when she found herself back in his apartment.

A rustling sound from his bedroom told Ziva that Tony was searching for something suitable for her to wear. She hadn't even heard him leave her side. Glancing briefly around a room that was as familiar as her own apartment she saw evidence of their most recent movie night. There were bowls with crumbs of chips and popcorn placed haphazardly on the table, most paired with a can of soda or beer. An indentation on the sofa showed where they had curled up together. She wasn't convinced that it would ever return to it's original shape.

Something covered her eyes when her back turned to the door, Ziva whirled around in panic. What was _that_?

"Catch!" Tony called cheekily, a moment too late

Ziva took a deep calming breath and removed the shirt from her head, it smelled like Tony.

"You okay?" Tony asked, when she didn't respond like she usually did (threatening his life or organs that provided life).

Ziva glared and swept herself into his bathroom to change.


	2. Hesitation

Tony couldn't help but stare at the door Ziva had just left through. His eyes had hardly left Ziva tonight, like every night when she came over now. He was just so worried about her. She hadn't talked to him. Yeah, she had been to a shrink, the mandatory one, but Tony wished that she would talk to him, she couldn't fool him like she could effortlessly do with the shrinks. She may have talked to Gibbs, because that's what everyone on the team did if something was troubling them, or Ducky, but Tony wanted her to come to him.

Had he mentioned that he wanted Ziva to talk to him?

A coughing sound drew his attention to the woman in question, who must be a quick-change artist, or how else was she supposed to get out of her clothes so quickly?

She looked so small in his shirt that hung just past her knees, showing bare skin. Before Somalia he may have looked appreciatively at her shapely legs, longing to feel the soft flesh but now, he was too concerned about the person in the body.

"Tony?" she questioned hesitantly. Tony internally winced; this was not his friend, this small, shy shell of a beautiful woman. This was a strong woman needing someone to be stick her back together.

He smiled at her though and gave her a fake elevator eyes which made her look down instead of smirking at him.

"Do you want a pair of bottoms or something?" he asked, knowing she covered up as much of her flesh as much as she could even though Tony had assured her that no one would think any less of her for seeing some scars. They were all far too relieved just to have her. It was more than disgust of scars though; Tony could read her eyes too well.

Ziva bit her bottom lip in a childish gesture, thinking over the statement hard.

"No," she decided eventually, tugging at the hem of his shirt. "It is too warm, no?"

Nodding his head in agreement (he was only in boxers and a t-shirt) and waved his hands in the direction of his bedroom.

"You take the bed."

Ziva shook her head. "I don't want to hear you complain about your back tomorrow," she argued.

Ah, this old argument. But, that was not going to happen.

"Tough luck. You're the guest, so to bed with you." Tony said firmly pointing towards his room.

Glancing between him and his room, Ziva eyes were indecisive.

"But-"

"No buts, Ninja. You need a better sleep more than I do."

That shut her up pretty quick as she looked away from his face. She didn't know that he and Gibbs weren't fooled by her fake perky attitude at work. Tony knew that she wasn't sleeping right. Like he had told her before; her eyes never shut up.

"O-okay, Tony. Thank you." Ziva whispered and made her way slightly reluctantly towards his bedroom.

He followed her, not really wanting to let her out of her sight until he was absolutely sure that she was asleep. Tony didn't want Ziva just lying there, forcing herself to be awake instead of actually sleeping.

"Tony, I am not a child. You do not need to tuck me in," came Ziva's scathing tone from his bed.

Ignoring her tone, like he always did, Tony smiled brightly and said, "Can't I say goodnight to my partner?"

Ziva shuffled around on her feet, the only indication to Tony that she was nervous as her eyes were closed. What was she thinking? Had she changed her mind? Well, he wasn't about to let her go without a fight. Heck, he wasn't going to let her go full stop.

"W-will you s-stay with me," Ziva finally mumbled, eyes stubbornly facing his carpet.

Tony's eyes softened. "Of course, Ziva."

She looked at him shocked, why would she think that he wouldn't agree? He was her partner, always had her six. He didn't even have to think about it.


	3. Scared

Ziva perched hesitantly on the edge of Tony's spacious bed. Tony walked round to the other side and climbed on it, patting the space next to him.

"You need to sleep, Zi," he said softly, still refusing to glance away from her (with her sneaky ninja skills he was sure she could vanish in a quick puff of smoke).

Choosing to stay silent, Ziva obeyed his light command and scrambled onto his bed, on top of the covers. She clung to her knees, resting her head on the headboard, trying to clear her thoughts. Tony could tell that she was nervous, that she was still that slightest bit wary of being this close to someone. He wanted to show her that he would never ever hurt her.

His top slipped off her knees, exposing more flesh than he knew she would feel comfortable with. He couldn't help but glance at her legs, like he always did but something made him double back. A thin, almost invisible, scar ran up Ziva's inner thigh, past the hem of the shirt.

Ziva's brown eyes opened again and looked at him. Tensing when she noticed exactly where he was looking and she attempted to cover her leg again. Tony gently grasped her thin wrist, effectively stopping her. Her eyes were wide and frightened, she was frightened of _him_, and she weakly struggled but Tony was not going to let her hide them.

"Saleem's doing?" Tony queried softly, still holding her wrist.

Ziva nodded and Tony saw tears well up in her eyes before she ducked her head down and focused on her knees. Her whole body was uptight as if preparing itself for a strike.

"Ziva, I'm not going to hurt you," Tony informed her gently. "Look at me, Zi."

She didn't, if anything her head dipped lower.

Becoming frustrated, Tony said slightly sharply, "Ziva!"

She flinched and twisted her body away from him. She was visibly trembling.

Tony gave himself a head slap for being so stupid and wondered how he was going to fix this. First, Ziva had to look at him, to see that he didn't think she was weak or disgusting. Placing his hand gently under her chin, he forced her to look up.

"There is no need to be ashamed, Zi," Tony told her when her eyes eventually met his.

One lone tear trailed down her olive brown cheek. She blinked heavily to get rid of it. The woman she was months ago would have never let him see that tear. Tony shook his head, there was no point in wasting thoughts over what used to be, he wanted what was in the here and now.

Gathering the slight woman, who was his best friend, into his arms, he rocked her softly.

"Oh, Ziva, what did they do to you?" he whispered.

Ziva didn't answer but relaxed into his embrace, something she wouldn't have been able to stand a few weeks ago. Her head was over his heart, which soothed her own rapid heartbeat.

Tony frowned to himself as he could feel Ziva's bones through his oversized shirt. She still mustn't be eating properly. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her slightly away from him so he could get a proper look at her. She was just like a scared little girl, wanting some comfort but afraid to let anyone too close.

"Tell me what they did to you Ziva," Tony pleaded. "I want to help you."

Ziva's large eyes met his. "You do not need the burden of my pain, Tony."

"And if I want it?" Tony retorted and he softened his voice. "Let me care for you Ziva."

There was a long pause as neither of them said anything. Tony was afraid to even breathe and Ziva was deep in thought.

"A-are you sure, Tony?" she asked him nervously.

Tony gave her a determined look and nodded, "Yes."


	4. Revelations

Ziva took a deep breath but still didn't do or say anything.

"Zi," Tony gently reminded her of her promise.

"I-I can't. I-it's too difficult to talk about. You will hate me," Ziva babbled, eyes darting frantically.

Tony prepared himself for the question he had longed to ask as soon as he saw that thin line on her leg. He was sure she'd say no but...

"Will you show me?" he blurted out.

Ziva looked up at him in surprise and fear.

"That's even worse. You will be disgusted," Ziva said dejectedly, her wrist still in Tony's tender grasp. Though, she didn't sound scared of showing him bare skin which Tony accepted as a step forward.

"No I won't. Nothing will ever make me hate you or be disgusted at you," Tony scolded her, rubbing comforting circles on her small hand with his thumb.

"Really?" she asked, sounding very much like a little girl.

"Really," Tony confirmed with a smile.

Gulping, Ziva lifted the t-shirt over her head and placed it behind her. She was afraid to look up at Tony again, not wanting to see any despising looks she knew that he would send her.

Tony took a good look at his partner, ignoring the fact that she was in a modest bra and panties. He just wanted to see the marks that Saleem left on her and try to make them better.

On her front there were three circular marks, cigarette burns, just to the bottom left of her belly button. He was already familiar with the knife scar on her neck and the other one on her collarbone, both of which she had been persuaded not to cover up a few weeks ago. The final one her front was the one that made Tony the angriest so far. It was broader, as if it was from a different knife; someone else obviously had taken pleasure from hurting her. It curved from her right ribs around slightly to the side of her body and disappeared under her bra.

He hesitantly reached out and touched the one on her collarbone. She instinctively flinched back and her head jerked up, looking for her attacker. Tony did not let this deter him and ran a gentle finger across the scar, keeping his eyes firmly on hers, letting her know how much he cared.

"That one was one of the first ones," Ziva said hoarsely. "He was so angry that I wouldn't tell him anything. He said that he'd slit my throat but wanted information so he slashed there instead."

Tony winced in sympathy for his friend. "You were so brave," he told her.

He then reached out hesitantly to touch the one on her ribcage, her eyes following his every move. He stopped, finger inches away from skin.

Looking up Tony asked of her, "Ziva, tell me if I do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. I will stop as soon as you tell me too. Promise me Ziva."

Ziva remained silent, head ducked down.

"Ziva," he said sternly and then softened it almost to a plea, "I don't want to hurt you."

Ziva met his eyes again and whispered in a child-like tone, "I promise, Tony."

Not knowing whether or not to believe her but going along with it for the meantime (Tony could read her well anyways) Tony placed his hand on her visible ribs, covering the scar.

"His right hand man was quick to anger," Ziva explained swiftly, as if trying to spare him the pain of listening to her horrors. "Saleem just smirked as he did that to me, saying that no one should ever be allowed to enjoy me again."

Tony longed to pull her into another hug but knew he couldn't do that yet, not until he coaxed the full story out of her. Instead he told her, "You're still beautiful."

He was shocked to see tears in her eyes when he made eye contact with her again. Not really able to deal with crying women ever, Tony traced the three cigarette burns. They were deep marks, horrible red blemishes on her smooth skin.

"He put his cigarette out on me over and over again, trying to wear my will away," Ziva explained quietly. "It was more enjoyment of mutilating my appearance rather than trying to get information out of me."

Tony struggled to stop himself shaking in anger. He didn't wait to scare Ziva or worse, make her think that he was angry at her.


	5. Off Her Chest

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Ziva attempting to get control of her emotions and Tony lost in imaginings of what else could've happened to his best friend in Africa. How did she even survive that? That wasn't even all of them?

"Show me the rest of them, Ziva," he coaxed her gently, like you would a small child.

She turned around slowly, very unwilling to show him her back and put him out of her line of sight. Her shoulders were hunched as if she was trying to protect herself.

Ignoring the numerous marks that crisscrossed her back, Tony rubbed her back in large, slow circles to calm her down. He knew that this was tough on her and that she had never been more vulnerable. He was just thankful she trusted him enough to let him do this.

Soon, her whole body relaxed and went limp. Ziva uncurled her legs from beneath her and lay on her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows. She was showing him the backs of her legs too, Tony hadn't realised that there were marks on her legs. He just assumed that they were all on Ziva's back.

Tony counted seven cigarette burns, a curved line of them starting from the soft bit of skin on the back of her left knee moving up and inwards so that the last one that he could see was half hidden by her panties. Fury rushed through as he thought of the degrading acts those men would have forced upon her.

"Why?"

Ziva shrugged unconvincingly, head buried in his pillow.

Running his hand through his hair Tony sighed. They couldn't stop now, not when she was showing so much progress. And they needed to finish this, to bring peace to Ziva's mind.

"Sit up, Zi," he told her.

"No," she mumbled, stubbornly.

"_Sit up_," he said more firmly, the reason why he was Gibbs' second in command oozing into his voice.

She obeyed, very visibly unwillingly. Her dark brown eyes flashed at him. Good, she still had some fight left in her. He held her gaze as she glared weakly at him. Silence stretched between them.

"Well?" Ziva asked weakly.

Were those _tears _in her eyes? He didn't know how to fix this, how was he supposed to fix this? For once, he was speechless.

"I knew it," she said in a wavering voice, face falling.

"Hey," he said, grabbing Ziva gently by the shoulder. "I am _not _disgusted by anything you have just told me.

"None of it?" she asked shakily.

"None of it," he affirmed.

Ziva bit her lip before asking, "Then why did you say nothing?"

"Aw, Zee," Tony replied, scratching the back his head and trying to think how to phrase what he wanted to say. "I, I'm _angry _and disgusted at the people who did this to you. I just, I don't know what to say that is me shouting my anger and pain."

"But not a me?" she checked.

Tony shook his head, "Never at you."

She smiled shyly at him.

"There it is," he said fondly.

That got him a raised eyebrow, the first proper '_Ziva_' look he'd gotten all night. The glare earlier didn't really count in his opinion because of the lack of real heat behind it. He wasn't left fearing for his life from it but this raised eyebrow was _totally _his Ziva.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, her arms wrapping around her torso protectively.

She was trying to shield herself again. Tony wordlessly passed her his shirt back which she gratefully put back on, arranging it carefully so it as little skin as possible was showing. She even pulled her knees closer so it covered a lot of her legs. When did she get that small? She was still looking at him questioningly.

"Your smile, haven't seen that in a while," Tony explained.

"I smile," she said self-consciously, running her fingers through her rumpled hair.

"Not recently," he said quietly.

She bit her lip again, he wished he could tug it free but that probably wouldn't go down well in her heightened emotional state. Her eyes had stopped surreptitiously scanning the room this entire time.

Suddenly a yawn came over her, one of those jaw cracking ones where it sounds like something is going to get dislocated. She stretched her arms wide, instinctively.

Tony couldn't help it, he chuckled.

"You definitely need to get to sleep."

"It's your fault I am not," Ziva replied with a slight pout.

Tony quickly gave her a once over, unsure how to respond to that. Was she still feeling vulnerable? Attacked? Scared? She looked lighter some.

"Oh, just blame your partner," he said, trying for a light joke.

"Is that not what you are there for?"

They both chuckled. It felt good to have some of their familiar banter return to them.

"Right, into bed," he instructed, tugging the duvet from under her.

This time she did as she was told, pulling the covers over her legs a sure sign that she was feeling cold. He slipped in slowly next to her, careful to pay attention to her body language. The first time she showed discomfort, he was going to be out of there not matter what she said to him.

"You okay?" Tony asked softly, noting that she had made the gap between them a bit larger.

"Yes," she replied, snuggling down into the pillows.

"Alright, night sweet cheeks."

"Goodnight, my little hairy butt," she automatically replied. "And Tony?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"Any time."


	6. Trust

When Tony regained consciousness the following morning, he first noticed a heavy weight on his chest. One that was definitely not there last night. The second thing he noticed, upon opening his eyes, was that it was actually morning, if the sunlight streaming through his partially closed curtains was anything to go by. The dust made really pretty patterns in the air, how had he ever seen that before?

A snore came from the body on top of them. Oh yeah, that.

He blinked rapidly and looked at his alarm clock. The illuminated figures stared back at him. They made him do a double take.

Ziva shifted slightly, her arm now across his chest. She mumbled something unintelligible, face scrunching up a bit. Tony made low soothing noises, not wanting her to wake up just yet. It seemed to work, her face smoothed and her fingers weren't twitching. He held his breath for a few moments until she gave a soft snort. Phew, that was a close one.

Tony couldn't believe it was really morning. He remembered staying awake after Ziva had settled into him last night, making sure she actually fell asleep and didn't try to pretend. Surprisingly, it hadn't taken long for her to do so. Or, maybe it wasn't too surprising considering the emotional turmoil she had gone through last night. Tony knew that his emotions had gone through the wringer and that was only at hearing _snippets _of what had happened. Who knew what state Ziva's head had been in? Heck, he didn't even know how she even _pretended _to be okay after all she had been through.

He frowned to himself, it wasn't healthy. Ziva's chest rose and fell rhythmically in her peaceful slumber. He couldn't help but smile fondly at the messy curls that went every direction across his chest. That was _not _going to be fun for her to manage this morning. He resisted the urge to run his hands through them.

The last thing he needed was to wake her up in a panic attack from a strange, _male _touch to her unconscious body. She was sleeping so well, no ned to be the cause of any new nightmares.

Speaking of nightmares, she mustn't have had any last night. He would have definitely heard or even felt them if she did. Tony wondered how many not nightmare filled nights she had had. Not a lot by the looks of things recently. He was glad she could have some peace here with him. Maybe their talk had helped? Well, her talk. He, for once, hadn't done much talking.

Thinking of all she had admitted to last night, Tony frowned and clenched his fists. She should have never have had to go through any of that. She didn't deserve it. Nobody did. The very thought of _one _of those injuries made Tony want to bring Saleem Ulman back to life and pummel him to death. That bullet had been far too good for him.

All the injuries she had shown him probably wasn't even all of them. He had seen some raw skin on her hips and around her ribcage. He wasn't sure if they were burns or healing skin but she hadn't mentioned them at all. He wasn't sure if she was trying to hide them from him or she just didn't get to them due to the emotional overload.

They really had to get better about this honesty thing and at talking things out.

"You are thinking too loudly," Ziva suddenly said, voice muffled slightly from sleep.

Tony jumped, Ziva's head slipping off his chest. With a soft "oof" as it made contact with his mattress, she quickly propped herself up on her hand. He scooted a bit away from her so they could see each other's faces.

"How long were you awake?" he asked guiltily.

"Since you double checked your clock," she admitted.

"Sorry."

She waved him off, "I am a light sleeper. Even more so now."

"I should have _known _that."

"You could not have stopped me waking up. It could have been to any movement," Ziva informed him. "At least this way, I did not throw you off the bed."

Tony chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, thanks for not doing that."

The corners of her mouth quirked briefly upwards.

"I have injured you enough recently." She quickly glanced at his arm.

"Ziva- "

She shook her head, bed head curls flying. Tony held a finger to her lips (he didn't _want _to know what would happen if he put his palm over her mouth at the moment) to stop her from talking.

"Not now."

He waited for her to nod before moving his finger away. Silence stretched between them.

"Thank you for being there," Ziva said simply, looking up at him with shy eyes.

"Always," Tony replied fondly, uselessly tucking an unruly hair behind her ear.

He'd always be there for her.


End file.
